A Treatise on the Importance of Smoke

[Jan]

An explanation of electricity I found on the internet:

A Treatise on the Importance of Smoke

by Joseph Lucas

All electrical components and wiring harnesses depend on proper circuit functioning, which is the transmission of charged ions by retention of the visible spectral manifestation known as "smoke". Smoke is the thing that makes electrical circuits work. Don't be fooled by scientists and engineers talking about excited electrons and the like. Smoke is the key to all things electrical

We know this to be true because every time one lets the smoke out of an electrical circuit, it stops working. This can be verified repeatedly through empirical testing. For example, if one places a large copper bar across the terminals of a battery, prodigious quantities of smoke are liberated and the battery shortly ceases to function. In addition, if one observes smoke escaping from an electrical component such as a Lucas voltage regulator, it will also be observed that the component no longer functions.

The logic is elementary and inescapable! The function of the wiring harness is to conduct the smoke from one device to another. When the wiring harness springs a leak and lets all the smoke out of the system, nothing works right afterward.

Starter motors were considered unsuitable for British motorcycles for some time largely because they regularly released large quantities of smoke from the electrical system.

It has been reported that Lucas electrical components are possibly more prone to electrical leakage than their Bosch, Japanese or American counterparts. Experts point out that this is because Lucas is British, and all things British leak. British engines leak oil, British shock absorbers, hydraulic forks, and disk brake systems leak fluid, British tires leak air and British Intelligence leaks national defense secrets.

Therefore, it follows that British electrical systems must leak smoke. Once again, the logic is clear and inescapable.

Sometimes you may miss the component releasing the smoke that makes your electrical system function correctly, but if you sniff around you can often find the faulty component by the undeniable and telltale smoke smell. Sometimes this is a better indicator than standard electrical tests performed with a volt-ohm meter.

In conclusion, the basic concept of transmission of electrical energy in the form of smoke provides a clear and logical explanation of the mysteries of electrical components and why they fail.

"A gentleman does not motor about after dark." - Joseph Lucas, 1842-1903

[rosbullterier]

Ok, I'll wade in here.

Is it the Dutch culture to provide a public synopsis on a metaphor of relationship between smoke/electricity/Seagulls (we are still in the Seagull site?)

I started to read; thought yes, electrical short circuit creates heat then smoke - well?

I thought, it is awfully dark for a long time up there, poor dears - mind the price of alchohol is not as much as in Norway . . .

So - Seagull / smoke - relationship?

Nah, lost me . . .

ps. are you sure the manufacturer of lighting goods would decry the social status of potential customers?

[chris]

The relevance to seagulls is very obvious, if you are motoring along with your seagull and all of a sudden there is a lack of smoke it means it has stopped.
Thank god seagull never used lucas electrics.
lucas the prince of darkness

[Waggles]

My theory is that Seagulls are much the same, however they always have an excess of smoke from various other non-electrickery areas to top the levels back up again so the usual British leak doesn't matter in this case!

[philj]

Think I understand now. The seagull produces an excess of electricity, this then leaks out of the sparkplug into the cylinder, as smoke. The piston forces the smoke out of the exhaust. So the fuel/oil is only needed to lubricate the motor. No fuel, no lubrication so the motor doesn't run.
So, was the seagull the first electric powered outboard?
Now where is that bottle of red wine?
Philj

[chris]

this is making way to much sense, of course seagulls are the first electric motor, there is enough electrical smoke coming out of one seagull to power a small uninhabited abandoned deserted totally demolished city from the early saxon era

[Collector Inspector]

Hmmm

The Saxons actually invented the Outboard Engine but it never took off as a viable industry as they knew absolutely nothing about the technology relating to a "Pull Rope" starting method.

You won't find many early examples in site digs as are very rare because of this lack.

Obviously before its time heh?

Maybe "A Very Rare Example" will turn up on Ebay one day.

Lots of Scarce, Rare, Unique things do.................

C.I.